Yo!

The days just fly by so quickly…it’s unbelievable. When I last checked in I was 12 weeks pregnant (or so I thought...more on that in a minute) and due on September 13. Here are a few belly pictures. We haven’t been so great at remembering to take them, and in the beginning there was no point because there wasn’t really a belly to take a picture of! Read on to find out why there are two different timelines.

13 weeks/14w4d

15w2d/16w6d

17s1d/18w5d

18w2d/19w6d (Today)

This pregnancy has been going amazingly well. I’m so lucky to have had it easy thus far and we hope everything continues to go well for the second half. I won’t bore you with every single milestone and detail, but I did start feeling little flutters of movement a week and a half ago. When I first felt it I told Bryan, “Um, I think I feel the baby. But really, I have no idea if that’s what this is.” My parents came over later that night and I described the feeling to my mom. She started jumping up and down and yelling, “Oh my gosh, that was the baby! You felt the baby!” And then I started jumping up and down and my dad and Bryan looked at us like we were crazy. Whatever, they’re just jealous.

We had our first ultrasound (no reason for any before this point) on Monday and it seriously was the most amazing thing ever. Really breath-taking and tear-inducing for both of us. The tech and the doctor both said everything looks absolutely perfect so far and to hear that just lifts this huge weight off of your shoulders.

The pics are scanned in and a little hard to see here. The first one is the classic profile shot, the second one is the (kind of freaky looking) 3D image of the face, and the bottom one is a shot of a foot!

We still don’t want to find out the baby’s gender, so the tech had us look away while she checked out that business. It’s kind of weird that there are people out there who know what we’re having even though we don’t. I asked the tech what the ratio is of people finding out/not finding out and she said it was about 50/50. I was really surprised to hear that because every time I tell someone we’re not finding out the sex, they look at us like we’re crazy. Our reasoning is that there are so few true and real surprises in life, why would you willingly take such a big one away from yourself? Just to feel more in control? But, to each his own.

Oh, and when the tech was taking the baby’s measurements, she asked us how sure the doctor was about our due date. I didn’t really know how to answer that since there was really no way of knowing before this except to go by the date of my last period. She said we were measuring ahead of the 18w1d we thought we were on Monday. By the time everything was said and done, we walked out of the doctor’s office being 19w5d! So holy something Batman! We’re way closer to the halfway point than we thought. My weeks used to turn over on Sundays, now they turn over on Wednesdays. So Wednesday I will be exactly 20 weeks and halfway there!! That is really just insane. I actually feel kind of cheated out of 11 days of development. Which obviously isn’t the case and kind of silly, but oh well, that’s how I feel. So now my due date is September 2, which, coincidentally, is also my MIL’s birthday!

After our appointment we spent the afternoon touring 3 different daycare centers and my head is still spinning! That stuff deserves its own post.

Also deserving of their own posts? Cloth diapering and maternity clothes. See, I have lots of stuff to talk about (even if it is all pregnancy/child related…you should probably just get used to it). It’s just that the days don’t have enough hours in them.

Whoosh

Yesterday was my second OB appointment and the first visit for Bryan. Bryan is amazing and has already said he wants to be at every single appointment even if it’s the same boring thing every time.

My first appointment was 4 weeks ago and I met with a Nurse Practitioner for a Pap and medical history. Mandy, the NP, also said we’d try to hear the heartbeat with the Doppler, although at 9w1d, it probably wouldn’t happen. But Mandy must have magic hands because 5 seconds into it we heard it! It was seriously the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. I started crying right away, but mostly because Bryan wasn’t there to hear it also. When I called to make the appt. I asked if Bryan should come with and they said there was no reason because it would just be the Pap and the medical history.

But this time around Bryan came with and we got to hear that beautiful sound again. The really cool part was that you could also hear my heartbeat going a bit slower and quieter in the background.

Side note: We are not finding out the sex of the baby. We both love surprises and can there be a better surprise than that? I don’t think so. With all the things medical technology can do for you, why not savor one special secret until the very end?

Anyway, because we’re not finding out, we’ve been trying to think of a nickname for the baby so we don’t have to keep saying “It.” Peanut is overused and overrated in our minds and nothing else really fit. We finally decided on a name after hearing the heartbeat again yesterday. The baby’s nickname will be Whoosh. Kinda strange, I know, but when you hear the heartbeat through the Doppler speaker it’s just this quick and quiet whoosh-whoosh, whoosh-whoosh, whoosh-whoosh. And what better symbol than the baby’s heart? It’s all cutesy and cheesy and almost too much. But isn’t that what having a baby, especially your first, is all about? I plan to fully embrace the cutesy, the cheesy and the almost too much!

So there you go, we’re having a Whoosh.

Mmmm!

Last weekend my aunt dropped off the Girl Scout cookies I ordered from my cousin's troop and it has taken every drop of will-power I have not to eat all three boxes since then.

The thin mints went into the freezer right away, because there is no better snack than a frozen thin mint. I have already eaten one whole foil-wrapped tube.

I also bought a box of the Lemonade cookies--best Girl Scout cookie ever! They're shortbread cookies with a layer of tangy lemon frosting and they make my mouth water just thinking about them.

I also got ones called Daisy-Go-Rounds and they're a low fat cookie for those days I would like to eat a whole box of cookies but don't want to gain 10 pounds. For being low fat they taste damn good too.

Oh, and because of my sweet tooth and that of my family and others, my cousin was the top seller in her troop for the second year in a row! All she gets for that is a patch, which is weird because I thought I remembered there being all kinds of prizes you could win for that kind of stuff. Maybe I'm thinking of school fundraisers. Ah well, at least she has bragging rights!

And with that, I'm going to break in to my next foil tube of thin mints--yay!

From the saved posts

I wrote this on the morning of January 8th. Warning--it's looong!

How do I know I'm not ready for a baby? These are the things I talked to Bryan about last night when I vented to him about my fears and worries.

A. Money--I don't think we'll ever get to the point where we don't worry about this. I, unfortunately, tend to be a little materialistic. I need to get over myself and truly stop worrying about what people think. Plus, Bryan and I both know other families through work and other places who have multiple children and a much lower income level than we do. If they can make it work, why can't we?

The main thing I'm worried about here is debt. The only debt Bryan and I have is due to the mortgage, one car, and our student loans. To me, those are all good kinds of debt. Not to mention the interest on our student loans is about 1% (seriously). I had some serious money management issues in college and I hated going to my parents for help. They gave it lovingly and never showed any disappointment or anything. They knew it was a learning experience for me and they were right--I never want to be in that place again. So I'm worried that we'll find ourselves in a downward spiral because of a baby and all the expenses he or she will come with.

But just the fact that I'm worried about and aware of it, means a step in the right direction, right? I just have to keep thinking about that awful feeling I had in college and I'll keep right on driving past that Starbucks, or put down that really cute sweater I just have to have.

B. The house--there is still so much that needs to get done. But really, the more we talked about it, the more we realized it's just cosmetic stuff. When I have a beautiful baby will I really care what people think about my old dirty carpeting? The only thing that would need to get done is the installation of new windows in the room we'd use as the nursery.

C. Our friends--out of our immediate group of friends we are the only married couple and we are the only ones who would consider TTC. My biggest worry here is that we'll lose touch with our friends. Will we have anything in common anymore? Will they want to hang out with us when the baby has to go to sleep at 7pm? Will I even care about these things once the baby is in my arms?

Another big thing here is that I'm afraid I won't have any one I can relate to anymore. Like I said, none of our friends are anywhere near the baby stage. Who am I supposed to talk/vent to about my pregnancy, about my fears and worries, about all things baby related? I think people would get sick of that stuff pretty quickly.

I know this sounds stupid, but I've always wanted a "pregnancy buddy." A good friend who is pregnant at the same time or close to the same time I am. We can share stories and compare notes. I'd have someone who just knows what I'm going through. Bryan is a terrific listener, but he just won't get some of it. Argh, and just talking about a "pregnancy buddy" makes me feel like a 12 year old. I don't know what it is, I've tried typing 5 different explanations but nothing sounds right. I guess part of me thinks I should be mature enough to handle it on my own. And not that I can't, it would just be nice to have that person who is going or has very recently gone through the situation.

D. I have no idea about anything! Seriously, as a woman, I feel like I am way under prepared for this. I just do not know much about pregnancy. And it is definitely something I'm ashamed of admitting.

E. Me--more specifically, my mindset. I do not feel like an adult. I do not feel 26. What is it even supposed to feel like? Bryan laughed a little at this one. With a mortgage, full time jobs, bills and our own dog, how can I not feel like an adult?! I don't know, but I don't. Just thinking of going to the store to buy a pregnancy test makes me all anxious. I feel like the cashier is going to look at me and think I'm 16. I mean, hello Katherine! You do have a wedding ring! You really don't look that young! So this one is totally all in my head and while I know that it's absolutely ridiculous, I just can't help it.

Why all this ridiculousness? Well, I think I'm pregnant. There, I said it, er-typed it. It even feels weird to say! But, so did saying I'm married and calling Bryan my husband. My period? She's 6 days late. I'm never late. I'm still on the pill! And yes, I know you can get pregnant while on the pill. I know several people who have...multiple times. My mom's cousin even got pregnant 3 times even though she had an IUD! So, obviously, nothing is 100%.

I'll be stopping at the store after work to get a HPT. One other thing...tonight is Grey's Anatomy night. All we do is gossip, eat and drink wine! If I don't have a glass of wine (I'll admit, I'm kind of a wino...red only, please!) they're going to know something's up! Luckily it's just 3 girls--my best friend, my sister, and my sister's best friend, who is also a really good friend of mine. So it wouldn't be out of the question to tell them this early. Along with our parents and other siblings, those are the people we'd tell right away anyway. The extended family members and other friends would have to wait a little while longer I think.

So really, the only reason I'm typing all this (because I am not publishing it...at least not yet) is just to get it all of my chest. I needed to tell someone! Anyone! I was so close to stopping a random person on the street to tell them I think I might be pregnant. That would have made a funny story!

Argh! The mental vomit keeps coming! What if I'm not pregnant? Why didn't I get my period? Is something wrong with me? I am generally a worrier by nature, but I'm starting to think I have some kind of anxiety thing. My mind just automatically goes here. It starts to think, hey, maybe you have something terribly wrong with you and that's why you haven't gotten your period. Did you ever think of that? Gee, no I hadn't, but thanks for that!

Ok, I'm ending it there. Enough's enough!

So there's all of that. Yes, I was on the pill when I got pregnant. At first I was really worried because we figured out that I was still taking the pill for the first two weeks I was pregnant. I told that to my doctor and she let me know that there is no evidence connecting the birth control pill to any dangers. That made me feel sooo much better. The ironic thing is that I only had one more pill pack to go before I stopped taking BC and we started trying to have a baby. I guess this little one was just truly meant for us!

I should also say that the second I saw those two pink lines later that day, all of that stuff vanished and I haven't thought about it since. And now when I go back and read that, I just want to smack that version of me and tell her to grow up and get over herself. Does she not realize how wonderful and amazing it is going to feel to be pregnant? Can she not imagine the even more amazing feeling of holding her little baby in her arms for the first time? But I realize it's only natural to feel those things and I'm glad that I just don't care about them anymore.

Ok, I lied...I do miss it!

I just wanted to say thank you to those who have kept my family in their prayers. So far so good! My uncle had a full body MRI last week and the cancer did not spread to any lymph nodes! That is hugely great news and we are so happy. He has his first round of chemo this Friday. After his second round they'll do an MRI again to check the size of the cancerous growth. From there they will either do one more round of chemo or go right to surgery (surgery would happen either way) to remove the growth. Things are looking quite good right now!

So in my last post I mentioned that I did have one thing in particular about which I could post a million things, I just wasn't ready yet. Well, I'm ready. And really, this is the main reason I haven't been blogging lately--because it's been so hard to talk about other random things when all I really want to talk about is this...

It's very faint in this picture, but that second line is really there! So for those of you that don't speak pee-on-a-stick-ese, that, my friends, means me = bun in the oven!! The bun has been in there for 12w2d and is due to arrive on September 13th!

And aside from not blogging because I didn't want to spill the beans, I am also exhausted non-stop, and the last thing I want to do after work is get on the computer and write a blog post. All I'm good for these days is keeping the couch warm.

Speaking of which...I am about to fall asleep here, but I'll definitely be posting a hundred million things from now on! Oh, and as a side note, if we're Facebook friends I would appreciate no one post anything on my wall as I haven't had a chance to tell some out-of-town friends. Thanks!

Checking In

I realized something the other day--I don't miss blogging. My postings have become so infrequent that most of you probably forget I even exist until a random post pops up every few weeks. And you know what? I'm ok with it. Yes, I really do enjoy blogging and it provides a great release sometimes. But other than that I don't feel very compelled to blog all that often.

There are some things (1 in particular) about which I could easily post a million things, but I'm just not ready yet.

However, I do have a specific reason for posting today. My family could really use any prayers/thoughts/whatever you can give right now.

Last Sunday we had a going away party for my mom's youngest cousin (my extended family is super close). Paul left for Iraq on Thursday, February 19 on his third tour of duty. He has 3 boys under the age of 5 and a beautiful wife already anxiously awaiting his safe return. He's part of the 32nd Infantry Brigade Combat Team and his group is the largest to be deployed from the state of Wisconsin at one time since World War II. You can read a little about them and the send-off ceremony here.

Paul works as a Military Policeman and is usually charged with some of the most dangerous posts. This time around, he's not even allowed to tell anyone what he'll actually be doing. That right there tells you how dangerous his job really is. A lot of people are speculating (based on experience) that he'll be guarding convoys of diplomats and the like. If you've even read one article about the war, you know that the bombing of convoys accounts for a large percentage of troops killed.

Of course, we try not to think about that sort of thing, but it's hard not to have it floating around in the back of your head. So please send some extra prayers and thoughts Paul's way.

And while I don't want to hoard all of your prayers, there is one more thing I'd like to ask for.

On Valentine's Day I found out that my uncle has lung cancer. The good news is that the cancer was caught very early and completely by accident. My uncle got a new job and had to have a physical. One thing led to another and they discovered the cancer. The doctors are very optimistic because of his overall health and complete lack of symptoms. I know he and my aunt have met with various oncologists and surgeons, and while my uncle is not in a great place right now emotionally, the diagnosis thus far does look to be on the better side of things.

And yes, my uncle was a smoker. A pretty heavy smoker for 40 years in fact (he's 55). He also worked in a factory as a welder for about 35 years, and the doctors say that probably has more to do with it than the smoking (although the smoking definitely accelerated it).

So please, anything you could send my family's way would be much appreciated.

Sucked In

I can't believe I gave in. I swore up and down that I wouldn't do it. Didn't want to be like the rest of sheep.

I started reading the Twilight series. Baaaa.

I started the first book Monday night after work. Now, I'm more than halfway through the second one. Bryan calls them my crack books. "Pay attention to me!" "Put down your crack!" I just ignore him and keep reading. I can tune everything out, I'm good like that. But, seriously...it is like crack. Somebody find me a DARE officer.

I'll be seeing the owner of said books tonight. She'd better have the other books ready for me.

Sigh.

Honesty really is the best policy

Here we go!

I'm the happy recipient of the Honest Scrap award from Andrea (which she gave to me, like, 1,000 days ago--or at least it seems that way).

The rules:

1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.

3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

Well, here we go....

1. I know whether or not I'm going to like someone/get along with him or her within the first 10 minutes of meeting them. I'm really good at reading people and figuring out their true intentions. And if I know I'm not going to like them, I'm not exactly subtle about it. I'm not mean or anything, but I don't go out of my way to be super nice to them. I'm cordial, but not a fake friend.

2. I'm a self-proclaimed grammar nazi. Please realize that there is a difference between chose and choose. And I hate when people use me instead of I and vice-versa. Any bad grammar or excessive spelling errors just makes my skin crawl. I'm not saying I'm perfect in this area, I try very hard to be :)

3. I have body image issues. I have for most of my life. Over the past few years I have made huge strides in just getting over it, but I think it will always be something I deal with. I'm pretty sure that when I look in the mirror, I see something completely different than the rest of the world. I think it's good that I do realize that, though, and that I am able tell myself to snap out of it.

4. I don't think I should teach my children how to drive. Even though I am a fantastic driver and parallel parking queen, I have some serious road rage. I'm an impatient person to begin with, and driving definitely brings that out. That being said, I don't think Bryan should teach our children how to drive either. He is the exact opposite of me. When he's driving, I call him grandpa.

5. We've decided that Bryan is going back to school for his MBA. This is terrifically exciting and terribly scary at the same time. He's been looking at both Madison and UWM and likes both. They're both 2 year programs, but UWM has a little more wiggle room should something come up. The future payoff is pretty damn appealing, but we plan on having kids in the near future, and dealing with a newborn by myself while Bryan is at class or studying is just a tad daunting. But, hello! My immediate family is a 15 minute drive away. So I really don't think it'll be that bad. (right?)

6. I am very OCD about my closet. I have a hanging shelf thing for sweaters(winter) and basic tank tops(summer). To the left of that go my dress pants from lightest to darkest. To the right of the shelf are my shirts. Far left starts the black and it goes darkest to lightest from there. Within the colors, the shirts are further organized by sleeve length. And the shirts all face the same way, with the front facing left. Yes, I'm crazy...but I love it.

7. I wish my blogging was more consistent, but lately I just don't have the urge/motivation to do it. It's definitely something I want to keep doing, but I'd hate for it to become a chore.

8. I once got dumped via email. That's what I got for dating a townie.

9. I don't understand the fascination with reality TV. The only thing I watch is Project Runway. Shows like Survivor, ANTM, The Hills, The Bachelor, etc just make me want to vomit.

10. Bryan and I try very hard to be "green" people. Among many other things, we buy a lot of Seventh Generation or Method products, we do organic gardening in the summer, we try to buy local for most things, and we just spent way too much money on no-VOC paint. Being green can be a little more expensive, but we think it's totally worth it.

Whew! That was a lot harder than I thought it would be! As far as giving the award goes, well, if you feel like doing this, go ahead and say I gave it to you!

Take it off!

No, wait, put it back on. That's not what I meant! I'm getting my hairs cut tonight, and while that's usually not that big of a deal. It is for me.

See, it's been 7 months since my last hair cut. I know--I'm disgusted with me too. For a while it was no big deal, but in the last week or so, it's just gotten unmanageable. Totally frizzy, doesn't look good up or down, just gross.

And really, I have no excuse for not going sooner. I just never called for an appointment. But now I am reminded why I don't let my hair get this long. My super fine hair looks terrible at this length. Just lays there like...like....like something that just lays around.

I'll try to post before and afters later tonight or tomorrow!

Sir Mix-a-Lot was on to something...

A little background--my sister and I both have what we call "bubble butts." And my sister's is actually a bit more pronounced than mine. (Sshhh, don't tell her I told you!) And while many men have very flat/non-existent bums, Bryan is known as "ghetto booty" in these parts. So needless to say, our children will definitely not be lacking in the caboose.

Bryan just forwarded me an email from a friend letting him know big bums might be a good thing! You can check the original article out here. It says that those of us with most of our body fat in the rump and hip area are less likely to develop Type II Diabetes. Woohoo! Go us!